Well, it took months to buy for a holiday that lasts a few hours. In case you haven’t noticed…it gets under my skin. Christmas means more when you aren’t the parent having to buy things…because you don’t know the stressors. I’m a stress buyer…I stress because I think that when I buy something for someone they may not like it. What if they saw it somewhere and know I didn’t spend that much on them.
On the other hand, I try to teach my kids its better to give than receive but don’t we contradict ourselves? What if we just didn’t buy gifts? What if we just said Merry Christmas, I love you, I’m glad I have you in my life and be done with it? Would we be okay with that as a Christmas gift? What if we did that all year round instead of during Christmas? What if we tried to feed the hungry and the poor all year round? Do poor people only get hungry during the holidays? Do they only deserve a warm meal and place to sleep in November and December?
You get my point. The reason I am blogging this is because I realized something this weekend when I went to Camden to see my family. My granny is 92 years old. She doesn’t celebrate Christmas because she is a Jehovah’s Witness but I always get her something. As does most everyone in our family because, cmon, she is why we are here..if anyone deserves a dang Christmas present its her…because she birthed our mothers and father.
Truth be told…there is nothing in this world that I personally could give her that would make up for everything she has ever done for me.
Back to my point…she is feeble…and there is nothing anyone could tell me that would make me think anything less of this woman than perfection. Everything she has ever done has been “the best” in my eyes. No one has ever been able to compete with this woman, according to me! As I watched her open her gifts I realized…her heart is giving out and any day could be her last. Why does it even matter what we give her? She may not even be able to use it very long. The pictures that we give her of our family will set on a wall that will collect dust.
I’m not saying that she doesn’t want or deserve a gift but I began to wonder if she thought the same thing?
She just got out of the hospital for the second time in like two months…actually, less than that. They are becoming more and more frequent. She’s lived a life…full…children…marriage…love…perfection and humbleness like no one else.
Her home is twisted from three tornadoes (this last one being the worst) and the wall is cracked and the foundation is probably on its last “leg”. And to think that someone would want her to move out of her home is perposterous (that’s according to her).
So, back to the gifts…and really, my point here isn’t anything to do with my grandma…but materialism.
We are so engulfed by commercialism and materialism during Christmas that we don’t stop to think..today could be my last and I can’t take this gift with me…in fact, who would want to? If today were my last day…I’d want to take my family with me.
As I left my granny’s house yesterday I cried…for one, she’s really weak and I’ve never seen her look more sad but for another I don’t live near her like all the years I did as a child. The selfish human in me sat there and thought what if I never see her again…I brought her a corny music dvd and a family picture…is that really what I want her to remember? Did I tell her how I felt? No. Did I tell her how from the time I was born (from what I could remmber) that she was the one that showed me who I really was? She was the part of my life that I craved…it was always right next door…stability…love…she taught me to accept life and life it to the fullest…to be humble…for the life I me I NEVER remember hearing my grandma say she wished she had something. I don’t remember my grandma spending hundreds of dollars on buying me things yet I always thought she was the richest woman in the world.
I never heard her speak ill of anyone except that she wished they would “straighten up” and that would be it. She used to take me on Avon with her…to see Aunt Viva…to the grocery store…and always made sure that there was food when we came over. I spent more than a majority at my grandma’s house. There is NO Christmas gift in this world that I need other than the memories I have collected in my head of her.
So, what did I do to make up for the corny gifts? I sat down today and wrote her a letter about how important she was to me and thank you for always being “perfect”. She is the most awesome granny that you could ask for…and even if she wasn’t your granny and you needed one…she would be one for you…cause that’s just the way she is.
So, in closing, I’d like you all to make 2010 the year that you tell your loved ones that they are loved and you can’t imagine your life without them…because you never know when your last day is or their’s. Never take the day forgranted…it could be the very last time you see the sun rise…so make it count!
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!